At times, demands and perceptions from external sources can cause negative comparisons to creep into your thoughts and disturb your inner peace. It’s an alluring, but dangerous, emotional trap that only makes you feel jealous, inferior, and inadequate. This can easily lead your self-esteem to a new, all-time low.

Ruminating that someone is better looking or slimmer, makes more money, is higher up on the career ladder, has a happier marriage or a more caring partner, is a better parent, or has a lot more friends is like fighting a losing battle. There are an infinite number of comparisons you can make with an unending number of people. The Internet and social media have now driven the possibilities for negative comparison off the scale!

So, what’s the point?

Be Aware of Negative Comparisons and How It Affects Your Self-Esteem

It’s truly a shame that we ever allow ourselves to make comparisons with others. You never remain objective! Have you noticed?

Frequently, you end up comparing the worst of what you know about yourself with the best of what you presume about another person. How is that fair?

What you perceive to be true is usually what the other person lets you see. It’s an edited version of what they truly are. They’re not going to reveal their negative thoughts and emotions to the world. They will put their positive side on display. What happens is that you’re looking at a distorted and inaccurate picture when you compare yourself to others.

How could you possibly live up to that idealized image you have of them? In fact, chances are even they can’t live up to it!

Nix the urge to make negative comparisons and focus your energy on raising your self-esteem. It will free you from this unfruitful struggle and help you grow into your authentic self.

How to Raise Your Self-Esteem

Accept your imperfections and embrace your uniqueness.

Remember: nobody is perfect! We’re all human. We all have flaws, weaknesses, and difficulties. When you set reasonable expectations, become compassionate with yourself, and accept yourself for who you are, you truly start growing.

Stop labeling and limiting yourself.

Society may have a specific definition of success for a woman, but you don’t have to let yourself be pressed into that mold. Instead of succumbing to limiting, negative self-talk, visualize and affirm that you’re confident and strong. Step outside the box society dictates. Give yourself permission to try out new things and make some mistakes along the way.

Become aware of your own successes.

Think about what you have and have accomplished, not what you lack or haven't done. Make a list of your past achievements to motivate yourself to pursue more of your dreams and goals. You have unique gifts that allow you to make valuable contributions to the world around you. Nurture these strengths and enjoy doing what you do well.

Find inspiration without comparing yourself.

Learning from others is not comparing yourself to them. Talk with those you admire and ask them questions. Read about those who have achieved what you would like to achieve. As you learn from those you admire, do it with the right attitude and motive. Don’t let their success intimidate you. Don’t let it blind you to your own self-worth. Let it inspire you to reach your dreams. Most likely, you will find that the people you admire were vulnerable and courageous, took risks, and made many mistakes in their journeys to success.

Remember there will always be someone better.

When you realize that you are going down the road of negative comparisons again, change focus. Increase your positive self-talk, talk to a supportive and trustworthy friend, recite some positive affirmations, or read something inspiring.

Faulty perceptions, negative comparisons, and thinking that someone else is much better than you, just wastes time and energy. Focus on your own goals and motivations and commit to growing a little each day.

Above all, strive to be the best possible version of yourself – not someone else!